You are lost, mind you. You haven’t lost, you haven’t lost it, you just are lost.
You were never gregarious. You were snappy. You were fun alright, and good ….
And we, all of us, had the need for people. Four years in a hostel make us needy. Make us needy for other people. For conversation, for banter, for the pulse of being. For the proximity to other beings.
And then you left the country. I am sure the Masters were fun.
And now you say you don’t like it here much. You say you have a circle of friends, but you don’t meet often.
And then you are sad that you don’t have a girlfriend. And you are sad that your parents come along only about once a year.
And now you refuse to go back to India. And I know why. You think that going back will be akin to accepting that you have lost. You haven’t, believe me. You have done well for yourself. You have the degrees and the credentials, and a nice job. You have secured your professional future.
Be strong. Do what you know is right. If you are too ashamed still, maybe Australia? Shanghai? Hong Kong? Singapore? Closer to home?
Just don’t ever say that you cannot go back to India because there is so much of pollution there…
