I love arguing with my friends, only because all of them bring such a lot of perspective to the table — it’s delightful. And though all of them are highly opinionated, they are really non-judgmental. Most often than not my friends would go into an in depth discussion and analysis. My friends are not a representation of the society, rediff mboards could be considered indicative though. [Aside - Arguing with dad is becoming increasingly hard, since the topic often changes to my marital status, and it annoys me. Note to self: Write a post on that.]
The first thing I noticed about about typecasting is that much of humour revolves around it — sardar jokes, (or blonde or redneck) jokes being simple examples. Everyone enjoys them. It then further extends to some in-jokes or private humour- a bong boy is instantly classified as a well-read mama’s boy, a Delhi hunk as the DPS type with highlighted hair who bastardizes English, and the mallu colleague as having his hair soaked in coconut oil rolling his tongue on his l’s and n’s. Every single one who walks into the trap just reinforces our belief, makes us more biased. Sometimes we are sensitive, most of the time we snicker.
So far so good.
The problem only comes up — and I observe this more so with our parents’ generation — when the society pigeonholes morality – good and bad on the basis of these simplistic classifications. Drinks – bad. A-student — good. Reads a lot — good. Talks a lot — bad. Wears short skirt – bad. Love marriage –bad. The bias and classification gets chronic at times: Working woman – bad mother. Drinking man — womanizer. So on and so forth. The expectations from all of us are to be good, and good on the basis of metrics which seem somewhat random.
Maybe I am being very harsh on them. Our generation *is* a lot more objective.
And yet, I bring it back to Beck, who famously said, he would accept his gay child, but note how he phrases his emotions “I will be heartbroken and disappointed”. He, I believe, would be somewhat disappointed because he would think his child has done something wrong by being gay. Is being bad by being gay. It’s like saying, I would definitely be disappointed and heartbroken if I find that my son is a drug addict.
A gay son — despite being/unless he is a super achiever like Elton John, YSL, or Ellen Degeneres — will bring about disappointment and heartbreak.
I think we still have miles to go…
I leave you with a poem from Seth, who says this about himself:
Some men like Jack and some like Jill
I’m glad I like them both but still
I wonder if this freewheeling
Really is an enlightened thing,
Or is its greater scope a sign
Of deviance from some party line?
In the strict ranks of Gay and Straight
What is my status: Stray? Or Great?
PS: This is bad writing, but it is a one shot, promise.
