Dear JT,
Oftentimes we willingly let a lot slip away from between our fingers. You know when we are in that perfection of moment, and we take it for granted, not knowing that in a split-second all this would just be nostalgia. And much later, when we try to run through the events in our minds, and find blank spots in our now sobered-up memory, we think if we could go back in time, we would look at that missed detail, and not make the mistake for taking it for granted. But then again, if we are too busy collecting nostalgia, the beauty of the moment would pass us by. Like Japanese tourists, who never figure what they saw on their vacation till they go back home and pop the disc into the tray.
In a similar vein, when you have little disagreements with people, and you let it stay, because in that moment we carry the weight of our egos and don’t compromise. Much later, when the whole thing has snowballed, we regret not having fixed it.
As much as I collect nostalgia into albums that let you slip-in, I collect future regrets too.
Big fucking deal.
So yeah, with my repertoire of random experiences, I see it slip away. I see it not being the same. What you assume is just another one of our petty squabbles, will change a lot of things.
And strangely enough, I don’t mourn. I should I think. I will, I think, when it finally hits me. Somewhat. Because you are important. But what is more important to me now is for me to have a sense of being. To believe in what I am capable of, not be afraid, be confident of choices, and more importantly not look for legitimacy elsewhere.
Maybe it will fix itself, maybe we will go back to being the same. Maybe I will remember everylittledetail of everylittleexperience I am dying to share and tell you when we meet.
Until then this will remain a symbolic parting of ways.
Yours truly.
